The Art of Losing - Arwen

Summary: Before he dies, Charlie remember all the time he lost. And the one were he won.

Disclamer: The lyrics are from The Art of Losing by American Hi-Fi. And unfortunately, Lost isn’t mine.

You call me a loser
Say I'm just a user
But I'll just keep on moving
Cause that's The Art of Losing

They say that when you die, your life flash in front your eyes. That was happening to Charlie now. But the memories that more clear he saw, were the ones were he lost. The one were life showed him that he was a master in The Art of Losing. A loser in great part of his life.

He was a loser for his dad. His father had been good with him during his childhood, but when he grow up and chose the music, thing began to get worse. He get him to the butcher's shop, hoping that his son changed his chose. But Charlie never did.

“The music will be no good for you two! You and your brother are going to finish in the streets!” Simon Pace always yelled that words to Charlie and his brother. Then their mom always had come to help them. And this help always finished with Megan Pace crying after the figths with her husband. But she keep telling them to follow their dreams.

Then Megan died. And Charlie knew it was his fault. In the young teenager’s opinion, she died for love. Because of the persons she most loved didn’t let their sons do what their wanted to. Because almost everyday Megan and Simon finished figthing.

He and Liam suport their father hate for the carer they chose until they have the age to leave the house. The day Megan died, was also the day were Charlie finish losing his father. Her mother were the only thing that had keep his dream. He chose music because of her. Because of the love to his mom.

That wasn’t his only lose. He also lose his brother. Two times. The worst and first one was when he chose the drug over him. He sold the piano Megan had gave to Charlie in Christmas, one of the principals thing that help him to keep his love for music. Along with Charlie’s mother wish to accomplish the boy’s dream.

He felt so desvasted when he found that his dear piano was gone. He told to himself that is wasn’t true, that it was a dream. But he knew that it wasn’t a dream. It was the cruel reality. The cruel world were his big brother had betrayed him, his baby brother, for a simple (and maybe short) bloody fix. Liam left him along, without anything, because he wanted to have a better life. So much did he wanted become a normal person and have a little happy family, but leaving his brother in ruins as cost? Then Charlie remember his father’s words:

“The music will be no good for you two! You and your brother are going to finish in the streets!”

He was only half rigth. Liam had left the music, his brother and maybe his past also, to live in a happy small world, were everything was rigth. No drugs, no music and no junkie baby brother to take care of. Even being a junkie was Liam’s fault! He was leaving and forgetting all so easily. It just wasn’t rigth. After all that they had been passed. It was all wrong.

But Charlie keep going on, for himself and for the memory of his mother.

Then it was Lucy, the lost that was bethen the first the he lose his brother and the second one. The short one and also the one that helped him to understand why his brother betrayed him. He had stolen this girl so he could keep his addiction. But he had show to apologies to Lucy. But all went wrong. She had discovered that he had stolen her, and Charlie then felt terrible. Lucy’s word marked him for a long time:

“You'll never take care of anyone.”

When Lucy said those words, and closed the door in front of Charlie, he ran with Tommy to have a fix. He loved the moment that the thing have to him. A short time when nothing mather anymore. And after that, he stole to others woman like he did to Lucy, but without even care about these girls.

The second time he lost his brother was the day he aboard fligth 815. Some time before, some people had told him that if Liam was back, Drive Shaft would be back as well. So he went to Australia. He hated to arruin his brother’s little perfect world, but he had to. He wanted to be back at the music business.

Charlie really tried, but Liam refuse. He try to get him to a reavility clinic. But Charlie then made him remember that all that was wrong with Charlie’s life was his fault. That his big brother had left him in ruins. That he sold the piano Megan had gave to him. But them Liam said to him that he was now trying to look after him.

“You never looked after me!”

Then he left that little perfect world to came back to the mess his world was. And to get the things get better, his plane crash in a strange island in the middle of nowhere

After all this one would think that his life was the worst of all, but they were good things too. In this Island he meet Claire, the pretty pregnant girl. And he fell in love with her completely. A true and honest love that no even his drugs could overcome. That was why he was dying now. For her and for Aaron, Claire’s son who was almost like a son to Charlie. He was dying for get them out of that place. So they could have a happy and normal life. Aaron would be in a school, have friends and be a good person. They could not have to worry about the Other or the Black Smoke. They will be happy.

And with a smile in his face, Charlie Pace, a master in The Art of Losing, died thinking of his only win. The one of love.

The End