Transcript: "Comfortably Numbers"
Episode AABF116
Re-aired 1 Feb 2006
(HURLEY is back in the RECORD STORE or CHICKEN PLACE, I forget where he worked.)
HURLEY'S BUDDY: Hey Hugo, you alright?
HURLEY: It feels strange, like I've been here before.
BUDDY: Don't worry, bro. It's just a flashback.
HURLEY: But I've already had this flashback. I've re-been here, again.
BUDDY: Clip show?
HURLEY: I haven't heard the narrator speak up. Not that I want to.
BUDDY [pompous, profound voice]: "A time for strangers / to come to realize / they must survive together."
HURLEY: Cut it out. Cut it out.
BUDDY: You know, if it's not a flashback, and it's not a clip show, that means it's --
HURLEY: A RERUN!!!!!111!
(Cue LOST spinning title graphic.)
SOUND EFFECT: Fwwwwwummmmmmmmnnnnnnghhhhh.
(Back to where HURLEY was.)
BUDDY: Don't grip, man. This is a gift.
HURLEY: How's that?
BUDDY: A second chance. All the stuff you did, or didn't do, or did wrong: now's your chance to fix it.
HURLEY: You're right! I don't have to get on that plane. And I won't buy that lottery ticket. I carried that thing around in my front pock-
(HURLEY reaches in pocket, pulls out a LOTTERY TICKET.)
HURLEY: D'oh!
BUDDY: You bought it two days ago.
HURLEY [glum]: Well, I'll just wait for them to announce the numbers.
BUDDY: The drawing was last night. Here's the paper.
(HURLEY turns to the page with the lottery results.)
HURLEY [reading]: 4, 8, 15, blah blah blah. (Sighs.) I'm a winner. Jackpot of... what the? $442.00? What happened?
BUDDY: It's all over the news. (Switches on TV.)
TV REPORTER: Won the lottery last night? You're in good company... and don't quit your day job! Maria Coles explains.
MARIA: The winning numbers -- 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 -- were featured prominently last season on the hit TV drama "Lost."
(Video is shown of HURLEY, on the island, saying "The numbers are BAD!")
Lottery officials explain that nearly 400,000 residents play these numbers each week. By state law, the $162 million jackpot is shared equally among all winning tickets, amounting to a prize value of $442.00.
REPORTER: That must strike them as pretty ironic.
MARIA: It gets better. Lottery officials added that 61 tickets for this drawing were apparently filled out in error: that the "Lost" numbers were intended, but the player got one of the numbers wrong. The Lotto offers a smaller prize for matching five out of six numbers; but this payout was divided among far fewer players. Each of these mistaken tickets is worth nearly $37,000.
(Video is shown of HURLEY entering the LIMO as seen from the TV in the KOREAN official's house.)
(BUDDY shuts off TV.)
HURLEY: Hey! I was on TV when the Korean dude was whaling on that government guy!
BUDDY: Yeah. That's one of those connections people had before getting on the plane.
HURLEY [has an idea]: Can I duck out early today? I gotta look some people up.
BUDDY: Sure. Hey, can you take over my Friday? I got something going on. Potentially.
HURLEY: Sure. I could use the OT.
* * *
(HURLEY goes to ASYLUM receptionist desk.)
HURLEY: Is there somebody named Libby on staff?
RECEPTIONIST: What's Libby's last name?
HURLEY: I don't know. She's kind of blond, MILFy; she said she was a psychiatrist...
RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry, Hugo. I don't have her in the staff directory.
HURLEY [distracted]: OK. Thanks.
(HURLEY walks into the ASYLUM. LEONARD is playing CONNECT FOUR.)
HURLEY: Black or Red?
LEONARD: 4, 8, 15, 16...
HURLEY [drops red checker]: Where'd you get the numbers, Lenny?
LEONARD [drops black checker]: I win!
HURLEY: But how?
LEONARD [with a flourish]: Diagonally!
HURLEY: You seem all right, dude. What are you in for?
LEONARD: I was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
HURLEY [gasps]: Why, that's the very definition of insanity!
* * *
(HURLEY is back on the ISLAND, and inadvertently STIRRING THINGS UP.)
HURLEY: Hey Locke, can you take me to the hatch?
LOCKE: Hatch? What are you talking about?
HURLEY: Wait, what am I saying? There's like a doorway close by, we just have to find it...
JACK: Hurley? You OK?
HURLEY [startled]: Dude! Boone! You're alive!
BOONE [smirking]: Yeah...
HURLEY: No. No, no. You guys all think I'm crazy. "There goes Hurley again." No. Korean dude. You worked as a doorman. That's how you met your wife. Jack. You saved a woman's life, she married you, and then she left you and you kissed this Italian woman-
JACK: Hurley? How do you know this?
(HURLEY reaches into backpack, pulls out LOST Season 1 DVD box set.)
LOCKE [sees box artwork]: That's us. That's all of us.
JACK: You want to explain this, Hurley?
HURLEY: Hey, I didn't make this. I just bought it. You oughta watch it, especially that last disc.
LOCKE: Unless Sayid can make us a TV set out of coconuts --
HURLEY: There's a bunker! With a computer, food, power, running water, maybe a DVD player. Maybe not, the stuff there is kind of old. But it's worth a shot.
JACK: Where is this bunker?
HURLEY: Somewhere near the hatch Locke found. Oh, I guess he hasn't told you yet. Sorry, dude. And Boone, watch your back.
* * *
HURLEY'S MOM returns to her car. She sees a spot of BIRD POOP on the windshield.
MOM: Curse my marginally bad luck!
HURLEY: The numbers... they're hurting everyone I love! But not as badly!
* * *
HURLEY: The most important thing to do is not get on that flight.
(Camera zooms out. He is at the AIRPORT.)
ANNOUNCER: All passengers for Oceanic Airlines Flight 815, please report to the gate.
HURLEY [looks at boarding pass in hand]: D'oh!
(LINE moves FORWARD.)
HURLEY: Hey, Jack.
JACK [does not recognize him]: Excuse me?
HURLEY: Hey, Sawyer, Hey, Kate. Hey, Locke. Hey,
Shannon. Hey, Boone. Hey, Charlie. Hey, Claire. Oh, wait.
(No one KNOWS who he IS. Except for...)
LIBBY: Hi, Hurley.
HURLEY: Oh, Libby, hey. Uh, how do you know me? Never mind. Anyway, you might want to walk up to the center section and hang out.
LIBBY: Why?
HURLEY [looks around]: Um, just, uh, the tail section, ah...
LIBBY: Are you coming on to- Ow!
HURLEY [steps back]: Sorry. That's it. So I did step on your foot. (Sighs.)
LIBBY: It's OK. I'll be alright. Don't get so upset.
HURLEY [shakes head]: It's like I had a second chance to fix things, when I knew exactly what was going to happen otherwise... and still, I'm doing everything the same as before. It's like I'm on this treadmill, and I can't step off.
LIBBY: There's always another chance. You can do something right now--
HURLEY: No. We're gonna end up on the island, and I'll be starving, and I'll have my CD player, but only for a few hours, and... wait, wait a second.
(HURLEY puts down BACKPACK and unzips the top compartment. There is a PORTABLE DVD PLAYER and about fifty 10-packs of BATTERIES. HURLEY smiles.)
LIBBY: You go prepared, don't you?
(FLIGHT ATTENDANT takes LIBBY'S boarding pass.)
HURLEY: See you on the other side.
LIBBY: Hey.
* * *
(BACK on the ISLAND. The LOSTIES are gathered around HURLEY's DVD PLAYER watching season 1.)
MICHAEL: Hey, Jin, I didn't know that about the watch. Sorry, man. Here you go.
JIN: (Thank you)
JACK: Hey Locke, your episode's up next.
LOCKE: I don't know. There's some personal stuff in that episode.
JACK: Hey, the more we know, the better. You've been holding out on us as it is.
KATE: So Hurley, who won the World Series?
HURLEY: '04 or '05?
KATE: Both.
HURLEY: Red Sox, White Sox.
GROUP: No way!
CHARLIE: I never lied to you, mate. Why are you fooling with us?
(Friendly musical montage, then zoom out from beach.
End credits)
Episode AABF116
Re-aired 1 Feb 2006
(HURLEY is back in the RECORD STORE or CHICKEN PLACE, I forget where he worked.)
HURLEY'S BUDDY: Hey Hugo, you alright?
HURLEY: It feels strange, like I've been here before.
BUDDY: Don't worry, bro. It's just a flashback.
HURLEY: But I've already had this flashback. I've re-been here, again.
BUDDY: Clip show?
HURLEY: I haven't heard the narrator speak up. Not that I want to.
BUDDY [pompous, profound voice]: "A time for strangers / to come to realize / they must survive together."
HURLEY: Cut it out. Cut it out.
BUDDY: You know, if it's not a flashback, and it's not a clip show, that means it's --
HURLEY: A RERUN!!!!!111!
(Cue LOST spinning title graphic.)
SOUND EFFECT: Fwwwwwummmmmmmmnnnnnnghhhhh.
(Back to where HURLEY was.)
BUDDY: Don't grip, man. This is a gift.
HURLEY: How's that?
BUDDY: A second chance. All the stuff you did, or didn't do, or did wrong: now's your chance to fix it.
HURLEY: You're right! I don't have to get on that plane. And I won't buy that lottery ticket. I carried that thing around in my front pock-
(HURLEY reaches in pocket, pulls out a LOTTERY TICKET.)
HURLEY: D'oh!
BUDDY: You bought it two days ago.
HURLEY [glum]: Well, I'll just wait for them to announce the numbers.
BUDDY: The drawing was last night. Here's the paper.
(HURLEY turns to the page with the lottery results.)
HURLEY [reading]: 4, 8, 15, blah blah blah. (Sighs.) I'm a winner. Jackpot of... what the? $442.00? What happened?
BUDDY: It's all over the news. (Switches on TV.)
TV REPORTER: Won the lottery last night? You're in good company... and don't quit your day job! Maria Coles explains.
MARIA: The winning numbers -- 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 -- were featured prominently last season on the hit TV drama "Lost."
(Video is shown of HURLEY, on the island, saying "The numbers are BAD!")
Lottery officials explain that nearly 400,000 residents play these numbers each week. By state law, the $162 million jackpot is shared equally among all winning tickets, amounting to a prize value of $442.00.
REPORTER: That must strike them as pretty ironic.
MARIA: It gets better. Lottery officials added that 61 tickets for this drawing were apparently filled out in error: that the "Lost" numbers were intended, but the player got one of the numbers wrong. The Lotto offers a smaller prize for matching five out of six numbers; but this payout was divided among far fewer players. Each of these mistaken tickets is worth nearly $37,000.
(Video is shown of HURLEY entering the LIMO as seen from the TV in the KOREAN official's house.)
(BUDDY shuts off TV.)
HURLEY: Hey! I was on TV when the Korean dude was whaling on that government guy!
BUDDY: Yeah. That's one of those connections people had before getting on the plane.
HURLEY [has an idea]: Can I duck out early today? I gotta look some people up.
BUDDY: Sure. Hey, can you take over my Friday? I got something going on. Potentially.
HURLEY: Sure. I could use the OT.
* * *
(HURLEY goes to ASYLUM receptionist desk.)
HURLEY: Is there somebody named Libby on staff?
RECEPTIONIST: What's Libby's last name?
HURLEY: I don't know. She's kind of blond, MILFy; she said she was a psychiatrist...
RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry, Hugo. I don't have her in the staff directory.
HURLEY [distracted]: OK. Thanks.
(HURLEY walks into the ASYLUM. LEONARD is playing CONNECT FOUR.)
HURLEY: Black or Red?
LEONARD: 4, 8, 15, 16...
HURLEY [drops red checker]: Where'd you get the numbers, Lenny?
LEONARD [drops black checker]: I win!
HURLEY: But how?
LEONARD [with a flourish]: Diagonally!
HURLEY: You seem all right, dude. What are you in for?
LEONARD: I was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
HURLEY [gasps]: Why, that's the very definition of insanity!
* * *
(HURLEY is back on the ISLAND, and inadvertently STIRRING THINGS UP.)
HURLEY: Hey Locke, can you take me to the hatch?
LOCKE: Hatch? What are you talking about?
HURLEY: Wait, what am I saying? There's like a doorway close by, we just have to find it...
JACK: Hurley? You OK?
HURLEY [startled]: Dude! Boone! You're alive!
BOONE [smirking]: Yeah...
HURLEY: No. No, no. You guys all think I'm crazy. "There goes Hurley again." No. Korean dude. You worked as a doorman. That's how you met your wife. Jack. You saved a woman's life, she married you, and then she left you and you kissed this Italian woman-
JACK: Hurley? How do you know this?
(HURLEY reaches into backpack, pulls out LOST Season 1 DVD box set.)
LOCKE [sees box artwork]: That's us. That's all of us.
JACK: You want to explain this, Hurley?
HURLEY: Hey, I didn't make this. I just bought it. You oughta watch it, especially that last disc.
LOCKE: Unless Sayid can make us a TV set out of coconuts --
HURLEY: There's a bunker! With a computer, food, power, running water, maybe a DVD player. Maybe not, the stuff there is kind of old. But it's worth a shot.
JACK: Where is this bunker?
HURLEY: Somewhere near the hatch Locke found. Oh, I guess he hasn't told you yet. Sorry, dude. And Boone, watch your back.
* * *
HURLEY'S MOM returns to her car. She sees a spot of BIRD POOP on the windshield.
MOM: Curse my marginally bad luck!
HURLEY: The numbers... they're hurting everyone I love! But not as badly!
* * *
HURLEY: The most important thing to do is not get on that flight.
(Camera zooms out. He is at the AIRPORT.)
ANNOUNCER: All passengers for Oceanic Airlines Flight 815, please report to the gate.
HURLEY [looks at boarding pass in hand]: D'oh!
(LINE moves FORWARD.)
HURLEY: Hey, Jack.
JACK [does not recognize him]: Excuse me?
HURLEY: Hey, Sawyer, Hey, Kate. Hey, Locke. Hey,
Shannon. Hey, Boone. Hey, Charlie. Hey, Claire. Oh, wait.
(No one KNOWS who he IS. Except for...)
LIBBY: Hi, Hurley.
HURLEY: Oh, Libby, hey. Uh, how do you know me? Never mind. Anyway, you might want to walk up to the center section and hang out.
LIBBY: Why?
HURLEY [looks around]: Um, just, uh, the tail section, ah...
LIBBY: Are you coming on to- Ow!
HURLEY [steps back]: Sorry. That's it. So I did step on your foot. (Sighs.)
LIBBY: It's OK. I'll be alright. Don't get so upset.
HURLEY [shakes head]: It's like I had a second chance to fix things, when I knew exactly what was going to happen otherwise... and still, I'm doing everything the same as before. It's like I'm on this treadmill, and I can't step off.
LIBBY: There's always another chance. You can do something right now--
HURLEY: No. We're gonna end up on the island, and I'll be starving, and I'll have my CD player, but only for a few hours, and... wait, wait a second.
(HURLEY puts down BACKPACK and unzips the top compartment. There is a PORTABLE DVD PLAYER and about fifty 10-packs of BATTERIES. HURLEY smiles.)
LIBBY: You go prepared, don't you?
(FLIGHT ATTENDANT takes LIBBY'S boarding pass.)
HURLEY: See you on the other side.
LIBBY: Hey.
* * *
(BACK on the ISLAND. The LOSTIES are gathered around HURLEY's DVD PLAYER watching season 1.)
MICHAEL: Hey, Jin, I didn't know that about the watch. Sorry, man. Here you go.
JIN: (Thank you)
JACK: Hey Locke, your episode's up next.
LOCKE: I don't know. There's some personal stuff in that episode.
JACK: Hey, the more we know, the better. You've been holding out on us as it is.
KATE: So Hurley, who won the World Series?
HURLEY: '04 or '05?
KATE: Both.
HURLEY: Red Sox, White Sox.
GROUP: No way!
CHARLIE: I never lied to you, mate. Why are you fooling with us?
(Friendly musical montage, then zoom out from beach.
End credits)
